For the first time since my diabetes diagnosis, I was fearful because of my diabetes.
My meter showed 2.3mmol/l and my pump told me I still insulin on board from dessert. I was disorientated, drenched in sweat, defensive and frantically fighting the urge to fall back to sleep.
By the time I walked to the kitchen I must have looked like a zombie to my mum, who was getting ready for bed. Unfortunately, she stepped on the hypo monster’s toes by asking if I needed anything a few times. The “No” that came from me surprised us both. I didn’t even know I had the energy to speak, let alone using my angry tone.
As I sat at the kitchen bench, eating maybe But my 10th snake (apparently 2 snakes = 20g of carbs) and still feeling very low, I started to worry. I did not have a glucagon pen in the house and no one at home is trained in using one.
My glucagon script was useless sitting in a pharmacy. I never got one because of the cost and short shelf-life it had. I thought it would be unlikely that I would have to use it and didn’t want to waste it.
Thankfully, after finishing the snakes and moving on to shortbread biscuits, I could feel my sugars were very slowly creeping up. Soon the worry about needing glucagon faded back to the shadows again.
My next consideration was whether I should bolus for that over treatment and what to bolus for. I had long lost track of what I was eating and how much, as you do in the hypo haze. Sitting at only 6.0mmol/l after all that food, I decided to let it go and correct my morning blood sugar. I was ready to sleep.
By morning my blood sugars were only at 10mmol/l, considering how much I ate overnight. But I had woken up with the worst hypo/hyper hangover yet. The brain fog was real. I could barely log into my uni account. I was too scared to try and drive to uni.
It’s frustrating to feel vulnerable and defeated because of diabetes. It sucks to have diabetes disrupt your plans. But what can you do but go for a walk around the neighbourhood to clear your head and get back on track with your day? Diabetes may be a little bloodsucker, but it will never win.