Diabetes takes up a lot of brain space. For me, diabetes management involves being mindful of what I eat and balancing it up with appropriate amounts of insulin. I need regular exercise, not only to help manage my BGLs but also for a bit of stress relief. To get all of this going, I need to test my BGLs regularly and keeping on top of changing my pump sites.
The past month has been beyond stressful, emotional and dramatic. My exercise time has dropped by half and I’m spending more time than ever in front of a screen. Having a CGMS running by my side has been tremendously helpful by allowing me to take my mind off a tiny part of diabetes management.
It may not always be accurate, but seeing trend lines and knowing how my BGLs are behaving are much more meaningful to me.
The last few days my sensor unexpectedly died a few times momentarily. During those moments, I came to realise how reliant I have been on my CGMS. I panicked. I teared up. And I gave myself six hours before I would be willing to admit that it’s well and truly dead. Thankfully, I managed to coax my sensor back to life each time. I just simply don’t think I can afford more if I need to buy a new transmitter as well.
Having a sensor die on me feels like someone ripping away my security blanket of knowing what my BGLs are doing. Breaking my focus to do a manual test compared to having a quick glance at my pump for more meaning data is making a big difference in my life now. I do feel guilty for even thinking this as others struggle to access basic needs such as test strips and insulin. But right now, I’m clinging on to every last shred of self-care through my CGMS.