Dear Pancreas,
You’re a fighter, I will give you that much. After all these years, you’re still managing to produce just enough insulin to keep me in the normal range. But seriously, can you make up your mind already? I’m so sick and tired of being in diabetic limbo. Give me some clear cut answers dammit! Am I type 1, type 2, MODY, LADA? So far, with every test that the doctors have put us through, you never fail to give us unexpected results.
There may have been one or two moments where I enjoyed the ‘medical mystery’ spotlight, I have to admit. It’s nice to have people fussing over you. But at the end of day, it would be nice to get some solid answers and a solid game plan so I can get on with my life.
You know what? This letter actually goes to my GI tract too. I am sick to death with your little surprises. I know you’re jealous that my pancreas is famous, but that doesn’t give you any right to throw a spanner in the works here! That sudden bout of severe anaemia at the start of last year wasn’t fun. That night I spent doing bowel prep interrupted my Bones marathon with my bestie. And that full day at hospital doing an endoscopy and gastroscopy followed by iron infusion was an interesting field trip, to say the least. What has all that amounted to? A whole load of ‘your GI tract looks very healthy, we can’t find anything wrong’. Well…no news is good news…
I also like your sense of humour. The irony of having iron levels at sky high after my infusion gave me a good chuckle. You even managed to stump my doctor after they expected things to be back to normal, and it was still exceeding normal ranges. Very funny.
And now what do you throw at me? Random bouts of IBS with no identifiable patterns. You stink!
Despite everything, I still have to thank my abnormal body. I have never been more health conscious, healthy or fit. You gave me the biggest kick up the butt to sort my life’s priorities and I cannot appreciate that enough. You have opened so many doors in my life that will also help determine my career. And it will be a rewarding career that I will enjoy and love because of the passion I have for it and helping others.
So, my dear wretched body, you may have brought out the worst in me at times, but you have also definitely brought out the best in me. I have learned so much about myself, about life and about people from life with diabetes and being involved in the diabetes community. I have learned not to fight you, but work with whatever you throw at me. Nothing can stand in my way of enjoying life and living!
In other words, HA HA!
Much love,
Ashie
HangryPancreas 