Be the change you want to see.

Last night marked 2013’s first #OzDOC tweetchat. The topic up for discussion was ‘Diabetes New Years Resolutions’. Personally, I’ve never made any New Years resolutions. Partially because I believe that, like promises, they are made to be broken. We are so accustomed to hearing or joking about how easily they are broken, that no one takes them seriously anymore. Instead, I made goals. I made these goals by picturing where I would like to see myself at the end of the year. I will stick to these goals by creating it into a little mantra I will repeat to myself everyday. That way, I know I definitely won’t forget it. And what was that saying?

‘Be the change you want to see’

I wholeheartedly agree.

A huge lesson I had learnt this year from my diabetes was that life is more than just numbers – more than just HbA1cs, or BGLs. I had been so focused on trying to get perfect levels, that I didn’t realised how emotionally trapped I was feeling. It took me a long time to learn and start to accept that. I think, even now I am still trying not to always let the numbers get to me.

The person I see myself as at the end of the year will be happy. To get there, I will live my life laughing more often and not let other people’s silly comments hurt me. I will learn to let things go.

I will live my life with as much freedom as I can. That includes going places, eating the things I want, doing the things I love. I will not make excuses for myself.

Looking back, I have come a long way in life. And even within in a day, I know I would have accomplished something. Even if it’s a small thing, it all adds up. I won’t let a day of my life go past without accomplishing something. There’s always something to be done that I can do.

On a more specific D-front, I will learn to be more honest with myself and get help when I feel like I’m falling. And most importantly I will re-evaluate my health care team, because I have been making excuses for them for far too long.

So onwards we go! Everyday is a new day, a fresh start. Every night, I won’t be afraid to dream of who I want to be, where I want to go and what I want from life (life has already taken away my pancreas, and did a crappy job at that too. I won’t be letting The Universe get away with it!) And every morning, nothing can hold me back from chasing these dreams. Especially not diabetes!