It’s frustrating how it only takes one night of bad sleep to ruin a good run. Last week I was immensely proud that I had lost some weight and that it had stayed off, I was feeling awesome because of my exercise and I was starting to push myself harder at the gym. For the last few days, I seem to have gone backwards. My energy and concentration levels have been ridiculously low and I fatigue so easily despite sleeping early. This just demonstrates how important sticking to a routine is for me. Even though I get sick of routines quick frequently. yet I still wouldn’t say I regretted anything I have done or ate over the past few days.
I went in to see the exercise physiologists yesterday thinking they’ll have a nag at me for my higher than normal BGLs. Surprisingly, they were just happy I wasn’t having overnight lows and that I could explain all my highs with food and that I was still doing my exercise of course. How encouraging! Love it. I have decided that I’m going to see a clinical exercise physiologist regularly now to keep my exercise on track after this trial finishes.
Speaking of decisions (okay that was a bad segue I know), despite making up my mind to do the Masters of Dietetics next year, I am now undecided again. I had a really good chat to my Honours supervisor on Monday and we talked about the projects that I was interested in and my future goals and ambitions. He said that I had some really good ideas for a PhD going compared to some of the ones he’s heard in the past and really encouraged me to keep my options open and explore this pathway.
“Keep my options open” seems to be the catch phrase of the week for me! Everyone I’ve spoken to has said the same thing. There is no doubt that I will apply for both and I guess if I don’t get that scholarship I will fall back onto the masters. Yet the more I think about it, is dietetics what I really want to do or has it just been something I have programmed myself to want (if that makes sense at all). Yes, it would be great to be an Accredited Practising Dietitian. Do I really want to be telling people how to eat and educating them on the foods they should be eating when most of them have little to no respect for dietitians anyway because they think they know what they are doing or they have bigger things to worry about than their diet? I know my role will be to empower them to make changes on their own accord and get them to take charge of their own diets. Research is something that interests me as well. I have grown to love it over the past year and by getting more involved in diabetes has made further ignited my passion is researching into diabetes and trying to make improvements here and there to make diabetes management easier for young adults in particular. That would be my area of research and trying to integrate exercise and diet into that.
I have been bracing myself for the life of Masters next year and have only just grown comfortable with it and the notion of doing placements. PhD on the other hand is a completely new and alien thing to me, which i will have to refamiliarise myself with, like this year. It was a bit of a shock to the system when I started doing my Honours project but it didn’t take me very long to grow into it. I’m sure I will adapt easily enough but is what by doing my Masters, would I just be taking the easy option out, to work as a dietitian and eventually work my way to a PhD? Am I too young to consider doing a PhD? (Is there such a thing as too young would be my counter argument if the maturity and passion is there) What lies for me after a PhD anyway? What in the world do a do with a Doctorate?! There are so many things to think about and money is just the last thing that’s on my mind. If I do get a scholarship for a PhD, I won’t really have to worry about money as I’m still living at home. If I do my Masters, I’m still entitled to centrelink but I’ll be adding another 20k to my HECs debt. A lecturer has suggested that I do my PhD first before I do my Masters. But I would only be doing it then for the accreditation. Paying $20k for a piece of paper to say I can be a qualified dietitian. A tad ridiculous. Another $8k for Diabetes Educator Qual. Thank goodness for HECs.
So many things to think about! I’m glad I have friends who are in the same situation whom I can talk to.